No, I don't suddenly believe in God. But, there has been a sudden change, because of a series of revelations, and a serendipitous incident. I have been pained with the way I lived for the last few months (years, may be) I was perfectly fine, except for that little something that I missed. I couldn't put my finger on it. But, I knew something was missing. And now, I think it is the single biggest testimony to what Tom Hanks had to say - "Hope is a good thing. Probably the best of things."
I was not very happy with my routine. Got up everyday and cursed myself for being up so late - almost every day, except when I was driven by the enthusiasm of getting to listen to some genius in some class. Something happened yesterday. I am a fan of Ashutosh Gowariker. In my opinion, he is the ideal director - one who works on films that have a message, a message forgotten and much needed. His films have always had a positive influence on me. And the only reason why I thought he might have done a film like Jodhaa Akbar was to remind people of Akbar's tolerance to views, faiths, beliefs, ideas of people while sticking to the principle he believed in. That is one of the biggest problems in today's world - people becoming intolerant. And in a flash, I realized that that was what had changed - I had really become intolerant, of many different things. Though I backed myself to be an open-minded person, I could see that I wasn't really one. Having had this revelation, I decided to try and be more tolerant. Though the sleep had interluded my decision and the actual time when it would be tested, I stuck to it.
Today was something different. No, I didn't get up early. I got up as usual, at around 11. The strange thing was, I was not pained! I was happy, about something. I don't know what. But I was. It seemed like all my problems had somehow just vanished, and I was set free. Though my day started late, I found time to make myself a breakfast, got some physical exercise other than running to catch the bus, and enjoyed my time under the shower. It was like I was a kid again. Nothing could make my day bad. After a small snack, I decided to attend the party thrown by a lab mate, ignoring my usual instincts, which would be to send a congratulatory email and ditch it. I thought I ought to wish him in person for becoming a father. I thought I ought to be friendly, I thought I ought to socialize. So, I called up JD (my friend), and we went looking for a greeting card. The party was a nice break from the routine. And I found myself cheerful. The discussion between JD and me, that had concluded yesterday with a "One can never be truly happy", flipped over today, for some reason. It just felt right...
Another revelation dawned upon me, earlier today, that the reason I am not able to go to sleep as soon as I laid my head on the pillow was not because I had become an Insomniac, which I kind of used to boast about, weirdly, but because I was really not exhausted enough to be retiring for the day, physically. The time I had decided to take out for some exercise made me feel good, again, for some inexplicable reason.
I was pulled along to another 'Infosession' by my friends, mainly for food. Since I wasn't really hungry, I wasn't interested. And then I thought that since it was Cisco, I could drop my resume and see if I had any chance for an internship. Though I usually joined my friends in ridiculing the pitches put across by the recruiters, I tried, and was successful in being open to whatever they had to say. Though I didn't find it of much use, I stopped myself from rubbishing it. I was happy that though there was hardly any food that I am OK with, I at least got a 1GB flash drive. Little did I know that today would be the first day in my life that I would win a lottery!
Because of this series of events - deciding to be tolerant, more cheerful, and being lucky enough to beat odds of 1 : 100 - for the first time in many months(years), there was the hope that things would be right. I think it was some weird concoction of hope and luck that did the trick. I can say "I am happy" and mean it, after a long time!
I was not very happy with my routine. Got up everyday and cursed myself for being up so late - almost every day, except when I was driven by the enthusiasm of getting to listen to some genius in some class. Something happened yesterday. I am a fan of Ashutosh Gowariker. In my opinion, he is the ideal director - one who works on films that have a message, a message forgotten and much needed. His films have always had a positive influence on me. And the only reason why I thought he might have done a film like Jodhaa Akbar was to remind people of Akbar's tolerance to views, faiths, beliefs, ideas of people while sticking to the principle he believed in. That is one of the biggest problems in today's world - people becoming intolerant. And in a flash, I realized that that was what had changed - I had really become intolerant, of many different things. Though I backed myself to be an open-minded person, I could see that I wasn't really one. Having had this revelation, I decided to try and be more tolerant. Though the sleep had interluded my decision and the actual time when it would be tested, I stuck to it.
Today was something different. No, I didn't get up early. I got up as usual, at around 11. The strange thing was, I was not pained! I was happy, about something. I don't know what. But I was. It seemed like all my problems had somehow just vanished, and I was set free. Though my day started late, I found time to make myself a breakfast, got some physical exercise other than running to catch the bus, and enjoyed my time under the shower. It was like I was a kid again. Nothing could make my day bad. After a small snack, I decided to attend the party thrown by a lab mate, ignoring my usual instincts, which would be to send a congratulatory email and ditch it. I thought I ought to wish him in person for becoming a father. I thought I ought to be friendly, I thought I ought to socialize. So, I called up JD (my friend), and we went looking for a greeting card. The party was a nice break from the routine. And I found myself cheerful. The discussion between JD and me, that had concluded yesterday with a "One can never be truly happy", flipped over today, for some reason. It just felt right...
Another revelation dawned upon me, earlier today, that the reason I am not able to go to sleep as soon as I laid my head on the pillow was not because I had become an Insomniac, which I kind of used to boast about, weirdly, but because I was really not exhausted enough to be retiring for the day, physically. The time I had decided to take out for some exercise made me feel good, again, for some inexplicable reason.
I was pulled along to another 'Infosession' by my friends, mainly for food. Since I wasn't really hungry, I wasn't interested. And then I thought that since it was Cisco, I could drop my resume and see if I had any chance for an internship. Though I usually joined my friends in ridiculing the pitches put across by the recruiters, I tried, and was successful in being open to whatever they had to say. Though I didn't find it of much use, I stopped myself from rubbishing it. I was happy that though there was hardly any food that I am OK with, I at least got a 1GB flash drive. Little did I know that today would be the first day in my life that I would win a lottery!
Because of this series of events - deciding to be tolerant, more cheerful, and being lucky enough to beat odds of 1 : 100 - for the first time in many months(years), there was the hope that things would be right. I think it was some weird concoction of hope and luck that did the trick. I can say "I am happy" and mean it, after a long time!
